This show was what wanted to make me become a state trooper back in the day, when I thought all they did was high-speed car chases and not sitting around passing out tickets to people in Civics like me.

Never seen them on anything other than a Chevy, Ford, Dodge truck with a lift kit, clear tailights, and 3 millimeters off my bumper because the no-neck dipshit behind the wheel can't see my Civic from his lofty perch.

ULTRA, ULTRA RARE...
POSSIBLY THE VERY LAST UNMOLESTED TYPE 45 BONNET IN THE WORLD, THIS WILL NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN.

PERIOD.

VERY RARE ITEM FROM VERY RARE CAR.
RARE, TOP OF TTHE LINE, EXCLUSIVE SUPERCAR
ULTRA-RARE TYPE 45 ULTRALIGHT RACECARS
(I KNOW OF ONLY ONE IN THE US.)
AS THE BONNET IS MOST SALIENT AND DIFFICULT PART TO REPRODUCE
I RECEIVED THIS ITEM FROM A VERY, VERY, GOOD FRIEND WHO HAS OWNED MANY EXOTICS
HE OWNED AND CHERISHED THIS ITEM FOR WELL OVER 30 YEARS AND LET IT GO TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT HAS BEEN OFFERED FOR SALE SINCE THE '60S.
THIS IS AN ULTRA RARE, ONE TIME, ITEM...
ONE CAN RECONSTRUCT THE ULTRA RARE CAR

Ok, ok, we get it, it's FUCKING RARE! Enough already!

Plus, Jean Reno is the coolest thing to come out of France, period (besides the Alpine A110). Gotta give him credit for that.

Chrysler, fo sho.

Plymouth, Schymouth. Everybody's already forgotten the Breeze by now, anyway.

I don't even want to know how much it costs, but I did see a guy with a beautifully-restored MGB with his head under the hood...at least with that other British roadster he's got his priorities sorted out.

There's this brown Beetle that drives around from time to time, festooned with car club and "RUST INSPECTION PASSED 1994" stickers covering the entire rear windows. It's driven by a crotchety-looking frail old lady who must have been the stereotypical cranky schoolteacher from all of our inevitable childhoods. I'm afraid to get pictures of that one because she'll stare daggers in my eyes and I'll feel compelled to stay after school writing "I WILL NOT TAKE PICTURES OF STRANGERS' CARS AND POST THEM ON THE INTERTUBES" 100 times in between ruler lashings.

So you think they should stop building the ZR1, their greatest halo car that's now deemed itself to be lustworthy and not just a straight-line "leafsprings pushrods" barge? I'm sure the GTR rakes in millions of dollars in profit and is the only thing keeping Nissan in the black, as well.

I think Aqua Blue Metallic is now the greatest color ever. I'm going to go and dye my skin that color now.

Sheesh. It's the Fezza equivalent of the Porsche 914, except worse.

...but if you were a real man, like me, you'd brush up on your German and fly to ze Vaterland to import your own. 25-year exemption laws, for the win!

(No homo, of course...)

Well, at least there are going to be two good things about it:

1. the Gene Hunt character looks exactly like Gene Hunt.
2. There'll be plenty of badass old American cars to ogle. I think I'll just watch it on mute and fast-forward through the boring parts with people in them.

I have better hopes for American Top Gear, for God's sakes. At least nobody's going to be curious enough to watch that, saving me many cringing faces.

they sell Dodge Nitros in Germany?!

Do they have a sense of humor, or what?

Then he reaches out to them by sleeping with the female students.

Pros: Like Ron Popeil says, just set it and forget it. Available in 8 different colors.

Cons: You never quite know which way they're pointing. While in use it might scratch your paint, which would damage your resale value. Neighbors might complain about the noise. Extra-exciting tripwire version banned by the Ottawa Treaty (damn Canucks ruining everything again). Resulting explosions might also detonate your gas tank, leaving you ironically without any fuel yourself.

Still voted for the Shark, though.

2.) The Segway Is Dorky.

QED.